“Feelings...Wo-oh-oh Feelings” (Go Fish)

Right when you think the folks at Peta could not get any more bizarre, they launch the fish empathy patrol. Yes, it’s been discovered that fish are intelligent, they have feelings, and they are not to be eaten. They’ve gone after the cow and all things beef, and pigs, and chickens, and now fish. Fish? Give me a break. Fish are intelligent? Then why are so many of them being caught? Maybe fish, not unlike PETA, should keep the mouth shut.

After listening to a local talk radio station yesterday, who had a very young lady on the show, discussing this stuff. She was from PETA, and I swear to you, she couldn't string a 3 word sentence together without 2 of the words being "you know". She talked like a valley girl.... Harper Valley!

I had a million questions for Ms Fishlover. How about crickets? Are they okay for the "fishes" to eat? They have feelings. I know they do. I can tell when I hook them when I’m fishing for bream. But about the intelligence of a cricket. Any critter that can rub their legs together to make that sound they make, certainly has my respect.

I guess the main thing that peaks my curiosity about fish is regarding knowing or not whether they have other outlets, or traits, or emotions, or whatever. For instance, do fish have a sense of humor? Do they laugh at worm jokes? Are they a traditional type critter? Like, do they celebrate specific holidays such as we do, since they do have feelings and are intelligent. Do they get excited at Christmas? Do they have their own traditional Thanksgiving feast of worms and crickets? Do they stay on the bottom during Labor Day weekend? Hey, I have a zillion questions.

Also, I would be interested to know if these PETA people think that these fish should have a right to vote. I mean, come on, this country needs a little more diversity...let’s hear it for the PETA Party! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? One of the first things I thought about when I heard this parlance of the finned species, back in the times of Jesus, when He was feeding the multitudes... I recall the miracle regarding the 5 barley loaves and 2 fish. It doesn’t say 5 White Rye and 2 Green Onions. Get real! I reckon God, the Father, neglected in telling the boy about the fish thing.

How about partying? Do fish like to party? Do they drink or do drugs? Do they have little "cliques" as humans do? Do fish gossip? How about soap operas? Do they like those? And do they watch Oprah and listen to Howard Stern? Hey, do they bar hop? Do they have to go to private clubs, like, where NO CATS ALLOWED? (Sorry, that one has just been begging for it!)

Now, for the grand finale. What can fish do to contribute to mankind, other than to serve as a tasty dish? They can’t work a regular job and pay taxes. They can’t go to church and tithe. They can’t own homes and such, and beef up the revenue, so what good are they? Think about it...the only good fish is a breaded and buttered one!

And they sang a hymn, and went away!

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Should we have a fund raising drive to have bumper stickers made that proclaims:

Save a Cricket - Eat a Fish